{"title":"The Inevitable","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBirthday and Getting Older\u003c\/em\u003e Another year. Another lap. Another polite fiction that this is somehow good news. Cards for birthdays, milestones, and the slow march of time — written for people who'd rather laugh about it than pretend otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"another-lap-around-this-trash-fire-greeting-card","title":"Another Lap Around This Trash Fire Greeting Card – Funny Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eOne more complete lap around the burning cosmic mess. An astronaut, a folding chair, and a flaming planet make this the appropriate birthday card for current conditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOriginal Artazyn greeting card with sharp humor and original artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e5.5 × 8.5 in folded greeting card on glossy stock. Envelope included. Printed in-house in Enfield, CT.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Artazyn","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49186994520320,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0784\/4944\/3072\/files\/anotherlapmu.png?v=1786815334"},{"product_id":"surviving-on-pure-fucking-spite-birthday-card","title":"Surviving on Pure Fucking Spite Birthday Card – Dark Humor Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eCake is temporary. Spite is renewable. Celebrate another year of stubbornly remaining on the premises.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOriginal Artazyn greeting card with sharp humor and original artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e5.5 × 8.5 in folded greeting card on glossy stock. Envelope included. Printed in-house in Enfield, CT.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Artazyn","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49186994782464,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0784\/4944\/3072\/files\/purespitemu.png?v=1786816049"},{"product_id":"still-hot-just-more-flammable-greeting-card","title":"Still Hot, Just More Flammable Greeting Card – Funny Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eStill hot. The operating temperature has simply become less predictable. A birthday card for anyone aging with confidence and a measurable fire risk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOriginal Artazyn greeting card with sharp humor and original artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e5.5 × 8.5 in folded greeting card on glossy stock. Envelope included. Printed in-house in Enfield, CT.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Artazyn","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49186994913536,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0784\/4944\/3072\/files\/stillhotmu.png?v=1786815153"}],"url":"https:\/\/artazyn.com\/collections\/the-inevitable.oembed","provider":"Artazyn","version":"1.0","type":"link"}